The Real Me

One of the students on the Raja Yoga intro course was having difficulty with the 'loving but detached' concept.  We were talking about how we identify ourselves - by our job, our status, our hobbies, our roles, our relationships OR as something deeper and more meaningful.  If I identify with one of the former, then by losing that job, status, hobby, role or relationship, I lose my self.  If I choose to identify with the real I, separate from the former false “I's” - the real I being eternal and constant - then I will never lose myself.  But the student felt relationships were important and that we shouldn't consider how we relate to others as a false “I”. 

I gave my usual examples:  Think of the mother who lives only for her children.  Her children grow up and move out.  The mother becomes depressed and feels there is nothing to live for. Or the husband who dies within weeks of his wife's death. Their identities were wrapped up in how they related to another in the false “I's”.  Their identities were based on something temporary. 
She was not satisfied, but during the week she thought about it and consulted with others.  In the next class, when I was reviewing the class for some new students she gave her new found realization.

Love based on my role or my relationship to another is weak because it requires that that role and relationship continues to exist.  Roles and relationships are always changing.  In class, we had said the real I had the original qualities of Love, Peace, Happiness, Truth, and Wisdom.  If we love from real I instead of from the role of a mother or spouse, then it's a constant unchanging love.  Then I can say 'I love you', not because you're my daughter, my mother, my spouse, (my RossSpiritualLifeCoachingSchool reader) but because you are something more, you are deep and meaningful and you also have the original qualities of love, peace, happiness, truth and wisdom.  And so no matter how the roles change or how our relationship changes, that love is constant and unchanging because it comes from the real I. It's a relationship based on real “I's” and not false “I's”.

I thought this was beautiful and wanted to share it with you.
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Ross Galán, NLP Spiritual Life Coach
at the Spiritual Life Coaching School