Are We Really Listening or Just Reacting? - Even Worse, Hearing!

 
I was involved in a 'group discussion' - I like to call them pow wow's - other's like to call them group hugs.  We were discussing how to make a more caring environment.  It was strange.  The discussion was taking place with my spiritual family - the same family that has looked after me and nurtured me over the last eight years.  And words like back-stabb-bing and needing trust and gossip were all coming up.  I felt so naive.  Are there that many problems in THIS family?  I always felt comfortable and loved and looked after - I hadn't experienced any of these negative things.  I must be the baby whom everyone protects!

I then came home and switched on RossSpiritualLifeCoaching School blog.  And all the things that were talked about in the discussion reared it's ugly head on RossSpiritualLifeCoaching School blog.  Yup, it all happens here. 

The thing is, families are families whether physical, spiritual or virtual.  And families are made up of imperfect humans.  And imperfect humans make mistakes.  Lots of mistakes. 

I sometimes see reactions or hear about reactions to things and I think if this person were truly listening or understanding what was being said, they would realise that the person saying it is not a bad person and that the person saying it has good intention - not bad.  Sometimes people say things without thinking - but that doesn't mean they're hurtful - it just means they're flexible - they can put their foot in their mouth! 

If someone makes a mistake (says or does something hurtful) then re-acting badly to that mistake only makes the problem worse.  Instead, just listen.  Is the person really trying to hurt you?  And if you believe they really are, is it really worth taking sorrow from them? 

In Raja Yoga we say, "Take only happiness (blessings); give only hap-piness (blessings)."  Anything else is just rubbish.  And who wants any more rubbish? There are loads and loads of them everywhere: in and around us.  Don't take someone else's rubbish (bad feelings) - only take happiness and blessings (the jewels). 
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Ross Galán, NLP Spiritual Life Coach
at the Spiritual Life Coaching School