Are You a Free Being (Spirit)?

As another new year beckons do you ever wonder what’s ‘new’ about another year?  Is anything really going to change?  Is there truly going to be some newness?  Looking back we are likely to see previous new years weren’t that new at all but simply more of the same old…same old!

And yet we can’t just summon up a new set of external circumstances, it’s too radical, not to mention risky, although some do try!  And we cannot change others in order to make a new year really new, though some do try! We can, however, resolve to change some behaviours, be better people, treat others differently, listen more attentively, care more lovingly…perhaps!  But for many these ‘resolutions’ are often quickly slain and left for dead at the roadside of our daily routines.  Why?  Old habits are harder to kill, and they must first die before new ways of being and doing can occupy the driving seat of our life. 

But if we can catch our self before our self-inflicted cynicism about another new year kicks in, then there is some significant things that we can do to bring a fresh and more joyful energy to our life.  It’s all about freedom.

It seems likely that we are somewhat deluded about freedom.  We have learned to believe and therefore assume that because we can go anywhere, say anything, eat anything, talk to anyone and do almost anything we want, that we are free beings living in a free society.  But this is only one small dimension of freedom, based mostly on the corporeal dimension of our existence.

If we are stressed in any way, if we are emotionally suffering in anyway, if we hate anything or anyone in any way, if we crave for anything or anyone, if we blame, complain or condemn anyone for anything in any way, these are the symptoms of the absence of true freedom.  In fact, any unhappiness whatsoever is a sign that we are not truly free beings. It is a sign that we are imprisoned in a cell of our own making.  And who can be happy living in a cell?

Our favourite greeting at this time of year is, “Happy New Year!”  But despite our universal blessing for others are we able to create for our self a new year of happiness?  It’s just not possible for many as freedom and authentic, undiluted happiness are irrevocably intertwined.  And unfortunately it seems that perhaps only a few seem to have realised that they are not truly free!  So here are seven of the most common ‘prison bars’, to my mind, that make up the cell in which we imprison our self and thereby sentence our self to ‘serve out’ the time of our life… unhappily!

BLAMING: We make our self a prisoner of the belief that others are responsible for our present and future predicament.  Freedom is restored when we end all blame and take complete responsibility for our thoughts and feelings on the inside and our situation and circumstances on the outside.  Only then can we be happy.  Happiness is…self responsibility.

COMPLAINING:  We make our self a prisoner of how we believe and therefore think circumstances ‘should be’.  Freedom is won when we accept everything as it is and everyone as they are at any and every given moment. Only then is there ‘inner space’ for our contentment.  That doesn’t mean we cannot improve the way ‘things’ are now and in the future.  But there is a ‘happy way’ and a very unhappy way to achieve it!

CRITICISING:  We make our self a prisoner of our ‘idea’ of how others ‘should’ behave. Freedom is regained when we ‘let be’ and realise that each person is playing their part, dancing their dance, in the musical drama we call life!  Imagine an actor coming on stage in the theatre and half way through the performance they start telling all the other actors how to play their parts better.  There wouldn’t be many left in the audience and it’s unlikely that that actor would be invited back for the next performance.  We can only be happy when we sing our own song and dance our own dance…yes with others in mind, but not trying to get into others minds in order to sing their song and dance their dance for them! 

ARGUING:  We make ourselves prisoners of our own opinions, and the belief that we are ‘right’. “I’d rather be loving than be right” as I often say even if I am right in the heat of an argument.  Is there a need to be right really? Wouldn’t you rather be loving instead? Freedom is only attained when we re-affirm the idea that each is entitled to heir opinion.  Everyone has a different ‘point of view(ing)’!  Happiness is… seeing with crystal clarity our own point of view without trying to impose it on others.

POSSESSING:  We make our self prisoners of what we believe we possess.  Freedom is achieved only when we mentally ‘let go’ and remember nothing or no one is mine  is ‘mine’; I can only use things and be with people; not have them; thereby changing our relationship with all that we may have “gathered” (things and people) in our life.  Caring for what and who is in our life is exercising the ‘freedom to care’ whereas grasping and attaching are signs of slavery and self-imprisonment.  Happiness is… the non-possession of everything and everyone. 

SELF-LIMITING:  We make our self prisoners when we identify with an image of our incapabilities!  Freedom is restored when we realise there is nothing we cannot learn to do if we are prepared to embrace our failures as well as our successes.  Happiness is… having the courage to dare our self to fail!

WORRYING:  We make our self a prisoner of our own fears based on our imaginary speculations about a dark future.  Freedom is only possible when we realise that what we think and do today creates ‘our tomorrow’ and we are awakened to the truth that a bright future means we need to ‘be’ bright and ‘do’ brightness right now!  As the song title reminds us “Don’t Worry Be Happy”…only the word ‘To’ is missing!

There are many such ‘prison bars’ that we erect within our consciousness as we sacrifice our freedom and lock ourselves into a mental cell of unhappiness.  Breaking out and setting ourselves free is obviously more than just a days work, more like a whole years home work!  Yet the prize is so great, i.e. our own personal happiness, what else is there to do?  Unless of course we have found some perverted comfort behind our prison bars.  And indeed some do think that they have!  For them it’s unlikely there are any new years, there is nothing new to another year when happiness is the same old misery habitually mistaken for pleasure!

So what is there to say – wishing you a happy new year…. or wishing you a new year of happiness…. or wishing you new happiness this coming year, 2011?

Or should that now sound more like…Wishing YOU New Freedom Next Year!  Therein, lies our happiness.

If I could ask you a question which three of the above tends to be the bars in your cell?

I’d like you to reflect on which of your ‘prison bars’ are not mentioned above? (e.g. envying or avoiding or…etc. … etc. …).

I’d suggest you take an action by taking one of the above each day this coming week and consciously work on… not doing it!

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Ross Galán – NLP Spiritual Life Coach
at the Spiritual Life Coaching School