Love, Love, Love

The Beatles used to sing...

All you need is love,
All you need is love,
All you need is love, love,
Love is all you need.

I'm having one of my intoxicated moments and so I thought it was a good time to blog.  

Yesterday we arrived home from Baltimore.  Hana was so excited about seeing her Daddy she could barely sleep on the plane, and then slept for several hours after we got home!  She's sleeping now as I write having not quite acclimated herself to BST.

She clearly loves her father - and if you need proof, you only need look at his well worn cheeks where she was kissing him all last evening! Speaking of love, I was introduced to a book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  In the book, the author suggests that different people respond to different love languages.  The five languages roughly are:

1. Touch

2. Positive affirmations

3. Quality time

4. Service

5. Gifts

Some of us feel loved when we receive lots of hugs, kisses, literal pats on the back.  Some feel loved when receiving positive affirmations.  And so on.  There is a questionnaire in the back to help you determine your love language - that is, which love language has meaning for you. 
My mother answered the questions with predictable results (if you know her well).  But looking at her results and comparing them to mine (I res-pond well to being served - lol) I discovered something.

Ten years ago, had I taken the questionnaire, I would have had results like my mother's.  But I had just started a relationship with my current husband.  There was some frustration in our relationship.  Although we were attracted to each other, he wasn't much into public displays of affection or free with compliments (you had to earn a compliment!) - things which I craved.  But he did show his love in service.  He would do things for me without my asking.  Or if I asked him to do something that I could have just as well easily done myself, he would do it selflessly and without complaint.  He was always helpful, encouraging, etc.  Even this morning, I overslept and he woke up in order to remind me the time.

Over the years, I learned to appreciate this different affirmation of love, and then the hand holding and hugs and compliments were no longer necessary.  In fact, they seemed more shallow to me as time wore on.  And I then learned to show love to him through service.  You could say I learned a new language. 
I feel very fortunate in this.  Not only has it created a lovely harmony in our household, but it has created a deeper appreciation of my relation-ship with God.  God, who does not have a physical form for me to touch, a hand for which I can hold, expresses His love for me through service and I can express my love for Him also through service.

And this book points out another way I can deepen my relationship with God - with quality time such as silent meditation.

Incidentally, in Raja Yoga, God speaks to us using ALL FIVE love languages.  For example:

1.        Touch - God calls us to rest in his lap or hold onto his finger

2.        Positive affirmations - He calls us His sweet, sweet children, those with the sparkle of fortune on their foreheads, and a whole host of other positive wonderful things.

3.        Quality time - He is constantly encouraging us to spend time in yoga (connection) with Him.  He values service, but He values this more.

4. Service - He is constantly serving His children, giving us encouragement and hope, explaining to us how we can fulfill our aims, teaching us how to teach and serve others.

4.        Gifts - He gives us the promise of an inheritance, He gives us powers, He gives us blessings.

5.        Have a great weekend everyone and may you learn a new language today - that is, a new love language. 

 - - - - - -
Ross Galán, NLP Spiritual Life Coach
at the Spiritual Life Coaching School