Question: many times we were told: ‘become aware of yourself - think about yourself- do meditation’, but still we didn’t know how to do it.
Now we have awakened to the awareness of the process that is going within us, as to how our thoughts are creating our destiny and how two types of ego is working inside us and how we have to let go of the fear that we have developed because of attachment. But today can you please share with us the process of how, we can constantly stay awaken to this process of self-awareness as to who we truly are?
Ross: Yes, until now we were sleeping in the sleep of ignorance but now that we have received this knowledge we say, our third eye of knowledge has opened, and so yes, we have awakened to what is truth and reality and we have understood the process that is going on within us but still to put all of that into our practical life we have give some time to ourselves to experience peace and silence in our mind.
What happens is when we wake up in the morning then our life begins with newspaper- television - radio is on, on one side and on the other side we are getting ready to go to work or school and so there is a lot of ‘noise’ going on.
The whole day passes in a lot of noise and then we get busy converting that “noise” into thoughts and those thoughts emerges the experiences from our past memories. There is a lot of noise of our own thoughts going on in our mind and so the whole day there is very little experience of peace and silence. We are constantly thinking: ‘I have to do this and I have to go there and this one said this and they shouldn’t have said that’.
The speed of the mind is very fast!
The normal speed of thoughts is about 30 words per minute but nowadays we are not even thinking in the normal speed! The speed of our thoughts is very fast. When the speed is fast then the quality of my thoughts is not so good.
For example when someone has said something to us then watch the state of your mind - the speed of thoughts is very fast and negative: ‘how could they say that in front of everyone – what does they think of themselves…’
If you want to think good about others then watch that speed of thoughts. It is slow.
Positive thoughts will always be slower and negative thoughts are always faster.
When my speed of thoughts are very fast then that means the quality of my thoughts is not good.
The first awareness we need is to slow down our thinking. For this we will have to become detached and observe our thoughts.
1. BE QUIET
The first thing that we need to do is to find few moments every now and then and just BE QUIET.Not to be quiet just verbally! But be quiet inside and just observe your mind.
It is not that we stop thinking but just stop whatever it is that you are doing and just watch and observe your thoughts. Become detached and see what sorts of thoughts are going on in my mind at this moment.
When we observe then we will find that those thoughts are not of much relevance. It will either be re-runs of the past or the planning of the future – very rarely we are in the ‘now’.
We don’t take the benefit of being in the present moment –we are sitting here listening to all the good things but our mind is somewhere else!
When I am not absorbing it, then how can I apply it in my life practically? This will only happen when my mind is silent.
For this we have to become quiet every now and again for few minutes and watch what sorts of thoughts are going on in my mind. Just like every now and then we will go and check and see what our little children are doing or even in the office a senior in charge will also go around the office to see if everyone is doing their job properly – in the same way let me stop every now and then whilst doing my daily activities and check: what my mind is doing. When we observe then we will be able to guide them gently to think in the right way.
Secondly we have to talk to our mind.
Just as we are able to go and give instructions to our children –now you mustn’t do this but do this. Or if you are the boss in the office you are able to go around and give instructions to your staff: ‘now you have to do this and not this’. In the same way talk to your own mind and give instructions to think in a different way. It is just that we never talk to our mind!
If I have never talked to someone and not even given instruction how they should work then they will keep on doing the work according to their own way.
Sometimes what happens is someone said something in the office and listening to that we go home. We are with our children or wife or husband – we are physically present but mentally we are not available. As it is we get so little time to spend with our family and it should be quality time but our mind is still thinking about what they had said. So at that moment talk to your mind: ‘this is to do with the office- so I will think about it when I go back to the office tomorrow’. Then the mind will listen. It is important to give your mind very clear instructions.
If the thoughts that come into my mind are of no relevance then at that moment give your mind the instruction: ‘this is not of any relevance- stop – I don’t want to waste my energy.’
This is why it is very important to STOP for a minute, DETACH and CHECK the thoughts that the mind is creating and then give your mind a very clear instruction.
Then we will gradually be able to discipline and program our mind to think in the right way.
If you don’t stop then the chain of thoughts will start coming at a very fast speed.
But if we stop, detach and check then we are quickly able to guide them and bring them on the right track.
This is a continuous process throughout the day: become quiet every now and then and see what is going on in your mind.
2. LET GO
We have to let go attachment.
We have become attached to the people we are living with, we have become attached to the possessions that we have, we have become attached to the ideas that we have – we have become attached to so many things.
People with whom we are living now- we will still live them- but we have to let go of the attachment. We will be using the same objects [computer-mobile] that we use everyday but we just have to let go of the attachment.
We have to become detached and talk to our mind: this has come to me to use it for a purpose and one day it will be finished. We have to let go of it. If we try to possess them or hold on to them with our mind then we will generate FEAR.
Now we KNOW the process of how ego is the attachment to a wrong image or a wrong belief and where there is attachment there is fear of losing it. Even to become sensitive, take pain or sulk is because of our ego!
We get attached to the past – past pain or hurt. We have to let go of that. Somebody has said one wrong sentence to us and we keep that inside of us for so many years! Who is the one who has to let it go? It is me.
Even now if we were to remember an incident from our memory where we have had some bitter experience with someone we will go through the same pain all over again! And then you start saying: ‘oh my fortune is such!’ And then self victimization and self-pity begins all over again. This is why it is important to let go.
3. LET BE – let people be what they are.
If we check ourselves then we will notice that the whole day we interfere a lot in other people’s lives.
Every moment there is this internal conversation going on within us and mostly it is about others: ‘why are they saying this –they shouldn’t, why are they behaving like this-how could they?’
The whole day we try to write other people’s script as to how they should behave and talk and walk. We are always trying to fix others life!
The more we try to control others the more stress and pressure we will experience within our own selves because they won’t become what you want them to become. Then constantly my inner energy will remain disturbed and distressed: why are they not listening to me?
It is not that you don’t discipline the ones you are responsible for but you will discipline and then just leave it. You cannot forcefully change them by holding on to them. You can give instruction and inspiration but then accept them as they are.
**When you ACCEPT them as they are then your inner life will become very peaceful otherwise there will be a lot of turmoil and disturbance within you.
Don’t control anybody - Let people be what they are- “whatever they are like they are very good”.
With this acceptance I will be able to maintain my inner stability.
As soon as we start LETTING GO and LETTING PEOPLE BE what they are then we won’t have to work hard TO BE QUIET because we will start to develop clarity.
4. INTUITION
As soon as clarity comes then we will be able to listen to our inner voice. As soon as we stop thinking about others and stop controlling others then we will be able to see our inner process which we call intuition.
We will be able to find our own solutions- before we were so confused inside so we used to ask others: what do you think I should do?
The solutions are inside me- you don’t even know my problems! Then how can you help me!
When this clutter is removed from within then there will be clarity and I will be able to listen to my CONSCIENCE and I will then really wake up to the process that is happening within me.
What is happening at the moment is we are still reacting and getting angry and getting hurt and afterwards feeling: ‘I shouldn’t have done that or said that.’
But now what will happen is yes, you might make mistakes- you might get irritated or angry whilst talking to me but even then you will become aware - ‘no this is wrong- and then you will immediately STOP, CHECK and CHANGE.
We used to say when you are about to get angry count up to ten or go and drink some water but that was the external effort.
Now what happens is as you become clean from within you become more aware that, the speed of my thoughts is going on the wrong track so you will stop and you will be able to take it on the right track.
You wake up to the process that is going on inside.
*Just like we said in the beginning that now we know how our thoughts are creating our destiny [thoughts creates feeling, feelings creates our attitude, our attitude creates an action, action becomes a habit, habit becomes our personality and how our personality creates our destiny] so we will immediately stop and check our thoughts and change them.
*We also know how ego is expressed in our behaviour- [arguing, bossiness, criticizing.]
*We also know that ego is the attachment to a wrong image/belief and where there is attachment there is fear of losing that.
So as soon as you criticize someone you will instantly become aware of the process. Why did I criticize them? What was my fear? What was it that I was attached to? As soon as you check this and identify it then you will be able to let go of that attachment.
Then as soon as I let go of that attachment that behaviour will change and my ego will gradually start to break down- it is a process.
Now we know the internal process of the external behaviour.
**As we become consciously aware of the INNER process then we will be able to change the OUTER behaviour.
Every time I see myself behaving badly [arguing or criticizing] then I should go through these steps- see my behaviour, identify the fear, recognize my attachment and then let go.
If I just say externally: oh I must not criticize, then it won’t happen but with the awareness of the inner process I will be able to change my outer behaviour.
There will be harmony in my inner process and my outer behaviour.
5. WAKE UP
When we wake up we realize we have a CHOICE at every step as to how I should behave and what I should speak. And this is such a deep realization that there are no habits left then.
Habit means automatic. With habits we don’t have a choice.
Now we are not automatic! Now we have choice at every step and so there will be no habits. Every time you will be a new person. Even you will be surprised at your own response. ‘They said so much and I didn’t even get angry- like I used to’.
Habits will finish and I will be a new person every time.
6. KNOW YOURSELF
The most important thing is first of all to know who you really are.
Who is doing this inside? Whose process is this?
Whole day remember, who am I?
To become quiet means to have this thought ‘who am I who is doing this?’ I am a powerful soul. Somebody comes and insults you but who am I? I am a powerful soul – no one can influence or hurt me unless I allow them to.
7. PASS ON
Whatever we have received it to pass on to others – it is to share with others whether it is knowledge, skills or qualities. If we don’t pass on what we have, then how will we receive the new?
My life is like a river- everything has to flow. So many obstacles come on the way but the river finds its destination. Its purpose is to nourish everything.
My main purpose in life is to flow and nourish whoever comes in my contact.
As soon as you share what you have received they also get empowered.
Practise it and see for yourself.
- - - - - -Ross Galán, NLP Spiritual Life Coach
Spiritual Life Coaching School
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