In the Spirit of Giving

I enjoy giving.  Giving makes me feel good.  I like making others happy.  I like being in a position where I can give.  I like bringing benefit to a desperate situation.  But sometimes the act of giving can go horribly wrong.  And there are reasons why.  It has to do with our belief system.  It has to do with the myths we grew up with.

Myth 1: I own these things, therefore I can give these things.

No.  We own nothing.  What we have today can disappear in a second.  All 'possessions' can go, even the most treasured possession, the body.  If I give someone a car and it gets stolen the very next day, what have I given?  Nothing.  In fact, I've given a stolen car!  I've given stress and worry and maybe a little depression. 

Myth 2: I give this without requiring anything in return.

OK, this might be the intention, but nothing physical can be received in this way.  Did you ever receive something of value and not feel in some way beholden to the giver to return the favour?  Whether I mean to or not, giving something of physical value creates an account.  And if the receiver is not in a position to pay back the debt, then they are left feeling powerless and enslaved.  It can create a tension, an awkwardness for the receiver.  And then they end up feeling heavy rather than uplifted.  So what I end up giving is a burdensome debt.

Myth 3: If they need it and I have it, I should give it.

Maybe.  Maybe not.  What if I need it?  Who has the greater need?  Do I clearly understand the need of the other person?  I might give money to a homeless person.  I have plenty, he has little.  He needs it.  But what will he use it for?  Drink?  Drugs?  Am I really helping when I feed the addictions?  But who's to say he'll use it for addictions?  Am I just picking a convenient excuse not to help?  Instead of just reaching into the pocket and dropping change into the collection cup, or begging bowl I need to consider if I am giving responsibly.  Perhaps instead I could give food or clothes to the individual.

Why?  Because...

Truth 1: We do not own anything but all our 'possessions' are entrusted to us. 
Because we are trustees, we need to use everything in a worthwhile way.  This might mean determining where the greater need is, which could result in giving something away or remaining the trustee for the time being.  When we give something entrusted to us to another with a greater need, it does not create an account because all are benefitted from the transference of trusteeship.

Truth 2: The things we do have that we can give freely do not create accounts.
These things are love, respect, good wishes, empowerment, etc.  These are things that everyone has and can freely give although some have forgotten how.  When we learn to love and respect ourselves, then we have enough love and respect to give to others without expecting love and respect in return.  All these things, when we give them, they increase, and so we never run out.
Truth 3:  When I give love and respect, I empower others to do the same.

And this sort of empowerment is very uplifting. 

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Ross Galán, NLP Spiritual Life Coach
Spiritual Life Coaching School